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Fairy Healthy Life

Runner, Yoga Enthusiast, Fitness Fanatic who loves living an active life to inspire those around her.

Putting Up An Emotional Wall

Something hit me hard. Something I never even think about. I think I need to talk about. I have put up too many walls to keep people away. To keep people at a safe distance so they can’t hurt me. These walls need to come down if I ever want a chance at happiness. My first thought was, me?? I interact with people daily on social media. Celebrating with them when they have something great happening in their lives, birthdays, pregnancies, new jobs. My feelings are genuine and we have made true connections. I have friendships with almost every person that comes to my yoga classes. They know a little about me, my daughters. Things I enjoy doing.

All of that, is to a certain extent. Why do I do that? It is my defense mechanism. To friends and even to family. Even my mom. I’m not proud of that. Sure, I’ll answer your questions. Just enough to move along to the next subject. And these are with people I truly love to be around. But I’ve been hurt and that hurt made me believe I need to now protect my heart from feeling that way again. I cry very easily these days even with that wall up. I think that’s why I’m afraid to take it down.

Emotional walls come from a legitimate place. The reaction to hurt—physical, emotional or mental—can be to shut down and to shut others out. This is an exhausting, entrenched habit and reaction and one that takes hard, uncomfortable work to undo and then even more hard. uncomfortable work to learn new ways. And this hard, uncomfortable work, can only be done by you.  Source

If someone hurts me or is negative to me, I simply cut that person out of my life so I don’t have to deal with any emotions. It’s like, “you can’t hurt me if I don’t even acknowledge it. I don’t want to think about it.” When in fact the emotions are always there. They will always be there because I don’t handle things. I just push it to the back of my mind. It always comes back. I’m always afraid I’m going to fall apart and not know what to do to put myself back together.

I remember when I first started running with the group at the running store, I showed up, said hi, ran, said bye. And now that I look at it, that was so rude! I have no idea what others thought of me. But that was the thing, I pretended like I wasn’t even there. Since then I have opened up a little, but I know I can make more of an effort.

I recently joined a group of wonderful ladies to read the book, Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. It has opened up my mind to realizing the only way to let these walls down is experience life and love. I’m always hesitant in taking part in discussions or events like these because I don’t want others to know what I’ve been through. I don’t like feeling vulnerable. I believed that was weakness. When I was in high school, my dad passed away. I promised myself I would be strong, not weak since then. Well, maybe there are moments to stay strong, and some where it’s good for my well being to open up, which now I know is not being weak. I want to be able to share my feelings again.

So why am I sharing this with you? This is a difficult thing for me to discuss. For one, this is therapeutic for me and helps me sort out my thoughts. Also, this is a form of opening up. Putting myself out there. Sharing with you, being vulnerable. A part of living a yoga life. I’m nowhere near perfect. I feel with what I’ve been through, I’m barely beginning to understand who I am as an adult and as a woman. I also hope this may help someone else who puts up these walls to protect their heart. I know this will take time but could be very beneficial for present and future relationships and possibly my career.

We Did The Cutie Curl!

I was invited to host a Cutie Curl Play Date. You know, those little delicious clementine fruit that are easy to peel.

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So, what is The Cutie Curl?

 

It’s simple and a great way to get kids to eat their fruit. Beginning at the top of the orange, begin peeling around trying to keep the peel in tact until you reach the end. That is the cutie curl!

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We have some cute kids! Anyone can take part and upload their cutie curls to www.dothecutiecurl.com

The snacks I served for our Cuties play date were Clementine Cranberry Muffins and Cuties Clementine Sorbet.

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Even if it was windy and cold out, the sorbet was a hit!! It’s delicious, I recommend trying it out as the weather warms up for a nice summertime treat!

Thank you to Cuties Citrus for sponsoring and the opportunity. And big thanks to my friends who came out to do The Cutie Curl!

Simply Stacked

These past few weeks, I’ve had to bring my workouts to a screeching halt due to a pinched nerve in my lower back. Seriously, if it’s not one thing it’s another. It’s okay though. The rest has been good for me. 5 years of working out at a high intensity can’t be good. We need rest. I think I might have been overtraining and that caused me to have injuries one right after another. I feel good now but I’m taking the rest of this week off to see how I feel.

Funny thing though, with this rest I feel leaner and stronger. I credit it to practicing yoga everyday and eating right. I enjoy eating healthy. It keeps me energized with no stomach pain from fried or processed foods. I don’t think I could teach yoga feeling like that.

Eating healthy can become boring. That’s why I love looking for new foods to try. Samantha and Alexis Belbel from Get Simply Stacked sent me a sample of their grain free, gluten-free, healthy waffle mix.

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They are very sweet girls who actually used to reside in El Paso, so you know they’re great! After being diagnosed with Hypothyroidism two years ago, they set out to make a quality product that was paleo and didn’t contain gluten. It has just 3 all natural ingredients including organic coconut flour. Since they recommended to make waffles with it, that’s just what I did.

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The only tips I have are you need to add more liquid than it says. I find when using coconut flour, it thickens up. And be patient. It takes a little longer than a regular waffle mix.

These waffles were delicious! I love anything coconut. These girls made it easy with their great mix. Thank you Alexis and Samantha!

Meaningful Yoga

Yoga is much more than stretching tight muscles and beautiful poses. It takes some time to really understand that. I’m just learning that myself. Yoga can teach us Kindness.

A behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and recognized as a value in many cultures and religions.

 

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We must learn to become accustomed to losing interest in justifying our need to be right. Oh that’s a tough one for so many. Being right is nice. Having a peaceful heart is nicer. We don’t anything or anyone and need to let go of that control.

I don’t take it personal when a student goes into another variation of a pose I’m trying to teach. Who am I to say my way is the best option. It’s not. Teaching students to find their balance and limits is what I love. When they are more in tune with their bodies makes me feel like I’m doing a good job and in turn, teaching them kindness. You are imperfectly perfect, doing the best you can.

Sure, there are times I show up to teach and I’m not in the best mood. Maybe my day isn’t going the way I planned. I want to be real for those around me and I’m learning to let go. I forgive myself for holding any tension and not being as compassionate as I could have. The next class, I’ll be kinder. This is a learning experience for me as well.

Practicing forgiveness. Feeling hurt sucks. So does being betrayed by someone who you thought loved you. We must not let our hearts be filled with hate. We can be angry. It is a process to learn how to channel that into something positive. I know I did a lot of that in my first year of teaching.

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So how do you stay kind? One suggestion is to stay away from gossip and hate or drama filled social media posts. You know where they are and who posts them. Keep positive people in your life. It can be that easy.

The next question is, when you feel anger trying to take over your body, how will you respond? Take your time. Respond with peace. Respond with fairness. Please don’t hurt someone else because you are feeling hurt or angry. And the next time you step on your yoga mat allow your body to release all tension and in turn your mind will follow. Let your body move freely through the poses. That will make you smile and cultivate growth.

As a child, it was automatically understood in our family there are 3 things you never say; stupid, shut up, or I hate you. I believe these rules have helped make me a kinder person.

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